Ruxin is lamenting his bad week in the league, blaming in particular Antonio Gates, who scored a number of points against him. Pete reveals he is going to a spa for the weekend, having paid for the trip before his separation. Andre offers to accompany him, and only after everyone else states they have plans, Pete agrees to take Andre with him. Andre takes this as a sign that they are best friends.
Pete and Kevin are at Kevin's house, with Kevin's daughter, Ellie. Kevin expresses his hatred for Mr. McGibblets, one of Ellie's toys that sings a song and dances, because she always insists Kevin dances along with it. Pete asks Kevin to break into his wife's house to retrieve a sex tape he has hidden in a Benjamin Button DVD case. Kevin gets the idea to have Pete break into his house dressed as Mr. McGibblets to scare Ellie, so she won't like the toy anymore, but Pete points out this is more of a "Taco job."
Pete and Kevin break in to steal Pete's sex tape. Kevin mentions he has a patrol service that drives by his house every three hours.
Pete and Andre arrive at the spa, to find Ruxin will be joining them for the spa weekend, something Andre is not happy about. While checking in, an attractive concierge named Claire initially assumes Pete and Andre are a couple, and after learning Pete is straight and separated, appears to hit on him.
In the hotel room, Ruxin continues complaining about Antonio Gates, and they discover there are two beds for the three of them. Ruxin claims one bed for himself, stating he has to wear a CPAP machine for his sleep apnea, though it is pretty clear he rented the machine solely to get his own bed. Andre and Ruxin try to convince Pete that Claire was hitting on him, though he is unsure as she is in the hospitality industry, and being nice is part of her job.
Kevin is at home when Taco appears at the window in a Mr. McGibblets costume, holding a meat cleaver. Kevin takes away the cleaver and instructs Taco to enter Ellie's room to scare her out of liking Mr. McGibblets.
While enjoying a romantic couples massage, Pete and Andre appear to bond, with Pete flattering Andre about his fashion sense. Pete suggests they make a mutally agreeable trade, but Andre is suspicious of being "trade-raped." Pete assures him he can be trusted and that he and Andre are number-one friends.
At Kevin's house, Taco enters Ellie's bedroom in costume and makes a scary sound. Ellie, however, is delighted to see Mr. McGibblets despite Taco's attempts to frighten her. After asking him to dance, she takes him on a tour of the house, and offers him several items, such as toys and photographs. Taco spies a laptop computer and points to it, and Ellie gives it to him, along with a number of Kevin's posessions, including an iPod dock, some mail, and keys to the house so he can come back.
Taco leaves with a pillowcase full of loot, and is spotted by Kevin's hired security patrol, who chase him away but can't catch him. Taco flees to the spa and gets into bed with Ruxin, where he mistakes Ruxin's CPAP machine for a "sleep-bong."
Kevin wakes up the next morning to find his house in disarray. The other four prepare for a wine-tasting at the spa, and discover Taco has been sleeping naked with Ruxin the entire night.
At the wine-tasting, Andre and Taco agree to lay off the single ladies so Pete can score, though he realizes a couples wine tasting is a terrible place to meet women. In an attempt to discreetly point out attractive women, the guys start using the names of tennis players in place of body parts ("Check out the Hingis on that one.")
Kevin arrives to claim his stolen property from Taco, and Andre complains about yet another intruder on his weekend with Pete. Claire walks over to talk to Pete, and once again, the others encourage him to hit on her. Pete catches up with Claire, who offers him a tour of the spa's intimate secret garden.
Ruxin, still obsessed with Antonio Gates, goes to the spa to schvitz out his frustations. Andre tells Kevin about his weekend with Pete, detailing their trade, wherein Andre gave up Ronnie Brown in exhange for Plaxico Burress. Kevin informs him Burress is in jail for two years, and Andre realized Pete once again trade-raped him.
Pete finally makes a pass at Claire, who reciprocates. They go to Pete's room, where unfortunately Andre is watching what he thought was Pete's Benjamin Button DVD but is actually Pete's sex tape. Disgusted, Claire leaves. Taco comes in from the bathroom smoking pot with Ruxin's CPAP machine.
In the spa, Ruxin finds himself next to Antonio Gates, the very player he's been complaining about all week. After a slapping Gates and then running away, Ruxin and the rest of the group are escorted from the hotel by security.
Kevin returns home with the Mr. McGibblets costume and his belongings, and winds up tackled by the security patrol outside his own house.
Kevin: You guys made a sex tape?
Pete: You, what, you didn't make a sex tape?
Kevin: No, I don't make sex tapes. I don't do that.
Pete: You watch porn.
Kevin: Yeah, well just because I like to eat sausages doesn't mean I like to how see how they're made.
Mr. McGibblets: Tickle me, and rub my belly!
Andre: You have nothing to lose, because, if she's rude to you? Fill out a comment card. "Claire was a real dick."
Kevin: What were you thinking? This is a cleaver!
Taco: I was gonna bring my nunchucks, but I didn't think she'd know what they were.
Ruxin: I thought it was a rule that everyone in the country had to get circumsized.
Kevin: Can I ask you why you're dressed like a Russian house D.J?
Andre: Okay, just so you know, this is the exact same thing Vin Diesel wore in XXX.
Kevin: I'm done with you.
Andre: He's the extreme James Bond!
Kevin: Please stop talking.