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The Shiva Bowl

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The Shiva

Andre is in bed with his girlfriend, Shiva. She states a desire to see the guys from high school and Andre tries to dissuade her.

At the bar the guys huddle around The Shiva trophy, describing the graphic details of what they'd like to do to her. This makes Andre uncomfortable as he is dating the real Shiva and genuinely likes her.

Taco has been doing research on hot women and has discovered the best place to find them is in Volkswagon Jettas.

Pete makes his offering to The Shiva, with a section of gym rope, not unlike the actual rope where Shiva supposedly had her sexual awakening in gym class. Taco begins his offering in the form of a song about having sex with Shiva, but is surprised to learn that he didn't even make the playoffs and can't win The Shiva Bowl. Andre reveals that he is dating the real Shiva after she started working as a doctor in his hospital, and thus will win the Shiva Bowl. Andre has not told Shiva about The Shiva trophy. Outside the bar, Ruxin calls a tow truck because he's too drunk to drive and doesn't want to leave his car.

At Kevin's house, Taco has burned his homemade deoderant in Kevin's oven. Frustrated, Kevin tells Taco to get a job. Taco insists he has a job making ringtones, including one of cats having sex and one of a horse having an orgasm. Still, he agrees to get a job, and applies at a Volkswagon dealership.

Watching the game, Pete realizes he needs to gain an edge over Andre, and suggests they go to Shiva's house. At Shiva's house, Andre is mortified to see Pete, Ruxin, and Kevin arrive, but pretends it was his idea to invite them over. Taco joins them as Andre begins losing control: Ruxin has snuck off to steal some of Shiva's laundry, Pete is trying to steal a picture, and Kevin is trying to subdue a "Shiva Blast", where one yells Shiva's full name (Shivakamini Somakandarkram) at full volume.

The next day at lunch, Pete reveals to Andre that he has an appointment with Shiva, who is a urologist, to have his testicles examined. Andre is furious and interrupts the examination. As Shiva examines Pete's testicles, Pete smiles smugly at Andre, who loses his temper and tries to strangle him.

Ruxin's car alarm is malfunctioning from all the times he's had it towed him after drinking too much. He leaves it with Taco at the dealership, and Taco tears out some wires with his bare hands. We learn that Taco's job at the dealership is a janitor, though he pretends to be a salesman when an attractive woman considers buying a Jetta.

While driving The Shiva trophy to Andre's, Ruxin's car breaks down, and he has used all of his towing miles. The real Shiva is driving by and offers him a ride, but sees her high school yearbook photo on the trophy. At Andre's apartment, Andre comes downstairs thinking Ruxin has delivered The Shiva, but is surprised to find Shiva holding The Shiva, and she hits him in the groin with it before leaving.

The five guys sit around and agree it's been a destructive yet entertaining season of fantasy football. The compare the Shiva charms they'll use next year: Pete has stolen Shiva's hairbrush, Kevin has a picture of her whole family, Ruxin stole her vibrator, and Taco stole her silverware (but only because he needed silverware). They sing another boisterous round of Shivakamini.


Taco: What'd I tell you? Hot girl. Volkswagen Jetta. It's a law, like water, or dinosaurs.
Kevin: Neither one of those things are laws, Taco.

(speaking of Taco)
Kevin: Now I know what Tom Cruise felt like in Rainman.
Andre: You know, I did drop some toothpicks on the floor one time and he counted them really quickly.
Ruxin: Yeah, but he got it completely wrong.
Andre: But he was still very quick.

Ruxin: Why are you making your own deoderant?
Taco: I was trying to save a bit of money. Know how expensive deoderant is?
Ruxin: Yeah, like four bucks.
Taco: I know, right?

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